Joke #13892

Q: VWhy didn't the fixed dog cross the road? A: Because he didn't have the balls to do it.

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"

Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.

I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.

I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.

Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"

I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger? A: A Doberman.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.