Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity?
I just can't seem to put it down.
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
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Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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Your Mother is so fat, her water heater needs a nuclear reactor.
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
When Chuck Norris makes a joke on this website, everyone starts to make bad jokes because they didn't want to anger Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you get when you complete science class?
A: A graduated cylinder.
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