Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity?
I just can't seem to put it down.
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
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Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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