Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity?
I just can't seem to put it down.
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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
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Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
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Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.
It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie.
It was too short for release.
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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him:
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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