Joke #14039

Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity? I just can't seem to put it down.

A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space? A: Moonopoly.

Q: What did one magnet say to the other? A: I find you very attractive.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"

Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.