A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff!
I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?" 
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The T. Rexes were all angry.
You know why?
Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands!
How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate?
That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Which rabbit was a famous female aviator?
Amelia Harehart.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Vote:
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do.
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."