Joke #5937

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..." St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..." "Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!" Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"
Vote: has 85.64 % from 2687 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 52.50 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
Vote: has 63.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.” On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling. The doctor asked, “What happened to you?” The man said, “No one showed up.”
Vote: has 81.49 % from 169 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, drug, viagra, wife
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Husband and wife decide to make a password for s*x, they decide on 'washing machine'. Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine." Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head." Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine." Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."
Vote: has 83.40 % from 412 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
Vote: has 50.71 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
Vote: has 42.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, gay, racist