Joke #14303

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: soccer

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Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Three holy men rode a plane home. There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end. Who should talk him out of it. The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live. In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant. And a melted black box. The holy men still live to tell the tale. And so does the football.
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has 18.90 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: religious, soccer, terrorist, travel
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
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has 53.46 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, soccer, sport
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top. How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter." The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!" The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback. The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: soccer, sport
A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
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has 73.59 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: school, soccer, teacher
Four men were stranded in a desert. Suddenly, 1 of them died. The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body. The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver." The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: soccer, sport
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport