Joke #1441

Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
Vote: has 27.66 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, health
Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote: has 48.71 % from 272 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, time, wife, work
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" "Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
Vote: has 82.21 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
Vote: has 78.64 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 67.28 % from 238 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, women, work