Joke #1485

Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
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has 59.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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has 39.81 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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has 80.63 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women, work
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
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has 80.46 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, women
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 74.28 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
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has 44.93 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, priest, teen
Q: What's a blonde's favorite drink A: A cocktail.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, dirty
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
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has 73.23 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
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has 58.58 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
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has 44.50 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
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has 39.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish