Joke #1485

Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Vote: has 58.06 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots. The bartender asks him if it's a special occation? The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob". The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house". The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
Vote: has 62.43 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
Vote: has 67.69 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?" The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!" Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
Vote: has 81.94 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote: has 75.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: With four skin-divers.
Vote: has 36.78 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty