Joke #3530

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
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A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
Vote: has 62.69 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

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My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
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What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
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How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Q: Why was Raggedy Ann kicked out of the toybox? A: Because she sat on Pinnochio's face and told him to lie!
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Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
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The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.
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A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
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I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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