Joke #3530

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote: has 21.61 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom." One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away." She says: "What about the good in bed part?" He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
Vote: has 76.73 % from 519 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
Vote: has 69.77 % from 262 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, friendship
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 63.74 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote: has 82.26 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, money
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Vote: has 85.55 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”
Vote: has 88.47 % from 843 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, health, hospital, sex
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Vote: has 82.70 % from 770 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
Vote: has 64.26 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty