What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
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What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.