What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
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Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”