What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.