What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!