What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
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Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.