What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sex?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy cow!"
"Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh dear!"
"No, no! Deer run too fast..."
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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