What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"
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A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..."
The man shook his head.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?"
The man shook his head again angrily.
"Sorry... a worm?"
The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces.
"Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-
Moooooo!
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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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