Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.
My penis is now 235 feet long.
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Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.
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