Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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