Joke #1501

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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has 49.48 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, political, sport
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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has 32.59 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, military, war
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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has 80.44 % from 504 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, game
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting