Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew?
A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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