Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
Vote:
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
Vote:
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?
Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Vote:
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote:
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Vote:
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star.
She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward.
"Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it."
"Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote: