Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like... Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.