Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"