Joke #1769

Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen

Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.

Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".

Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris

"Doctor, I have a problem..." "What’s your problem?" "I pee in my sleep, every night!" "Why?" "Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. "And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'" "And that will cut it off?" "Sure! Like a knife!" At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered; "Did we pee today?" "Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy. And little devil replied: "What about poop?"

Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."