What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.