Joke #7225

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
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On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
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An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
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