Joke #1520

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

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Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the police.’ ‘I would,’ says the man. ‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she’s finished the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so Queen Elizabeth writes him a check. Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he’s finished the devil informed him that there would be no charge and feel free to call the USA anytime. Putin goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, "Since Obama became president of the USA, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call."
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has 63.65 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: money
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
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has 16.16 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money, tax
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: holiday, money, wife
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, life, money
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, tax