Joke #2699

TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?

I bought a Jewish sports car. Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too. I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.

A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?" The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"

"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."

‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope

Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.

Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.

An actuary priced an automobile ‘fire and theft’ policy with an extremely low premium. When asked why it was so cheap, he said, ‘Who’d steal a burnt car?’

Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.