Joke #1558

Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
Vote:
has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences. The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
Vote:
has 81.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: men
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Vote:
has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dating, men
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote:
has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
Vote:
has 78.89 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Vote:
has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fart, men
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote:
has 64.77 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex