Joke #3219

How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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has 64.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings. One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?' An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in." She lets him in and goes "how can we help?" The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
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has 23.03 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: god, men
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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has 82.57 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
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has 17.45 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: gym, men, teacher, time
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the salesman asks her: "You're single, aren't you?" A bit surprised woman smiles and answers: "That's right, but how did you guessed that?" "Because you're so ugly."
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men