How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
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4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly.
After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says
"If my proof falls then I rome through the halls."
Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob.
The man is confused and says "what are you doing?"
She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some."
The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did.
Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good.
The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping
"Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch."
Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?"
She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
Vote:
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".