What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
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Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
Stupid?
He wanted to be a farmer.
So he studied pharmacy.
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.