What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
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Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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