What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.
There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks.
But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg.
Very frustrating.
One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious.
He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health.
Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it."
The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
2 cannibals having dinner.
1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew."
2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing."
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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