Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven. Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff." The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!" St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo? A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.