Joke #1566

Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
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has 28.23 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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has 59.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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has 28.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
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Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor