Joke #1569

Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
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has 23.18 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
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has 81.30 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
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has 74.74 % from 371 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 81.77 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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has 40.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, dog, food, morbid
Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body. Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba." The mortician asks, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes." "What? He had two assholes?!" exclaims the mortician. "Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
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has 85.85 % from 1080 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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has 46.63 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor