Joke #7564

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times. "I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything. About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad." The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside. Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?" The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time, travel
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
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has 71.09 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
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has 82.86 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, doctor, insulting, women
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
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has 71.74 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay, little Johnny