Joke #1612

Q: Why don't black people like asprin? A: They're sick of picking through cotton.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Because crackers get soggy when wet.

Q: Why are most democrats black A: Black people are idiots.

At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there. His mother didn’t allow it. The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind. Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him. Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it. Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman! Superman rescued the child! The crowd relieved applauses. The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman. "Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them. "New York Times." "You can ask me now." Superman said. "Were you scared while saving the kid?" "Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost." To the next reporter: "Which newspaper are you from? "Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?" "I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil." The third reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?" "Risebroker" (Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper) "To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!" Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage: New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard! Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior! Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

Q: What do you call the most powerful white man on the planet? A: The President of the Unit...sh*t.

Q: What does the devil do to black babies? A: Nothing they're already burned.

Yo mama is too black like she was born in a burning hospital.

Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby? A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"