Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
Vote:
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Kamasutra says:
If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one.
And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
A couple are arguing over money.
‘Do you know,’ says the man.
‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’
‘Yes,’ says his wife.
‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’
Why is money green?
Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
He was so mean he used to give his children £1 each instead of an evening meal, then charged them £2 for breakfast.
I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money!
Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid?
A: The wall maker set.
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35,"he replied.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."
Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."