Joke #1671

This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."

Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2.

One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the door. Again, there stands another bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick?" The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up the bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the back door. This time, there's a bum asking for a straw. The owner gives him a straw, but finally asks what's going on out there. The bum replies, "Some lady threw up in the back, but all the good stuff is gone."

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.

If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”