This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries. God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!" The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good." God agreed. Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud." "That seems easy enough," replied God. "I would also like to have wings like an angel." "OK," replied God. Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request. "God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?" "Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.