Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Once there was a little boy in church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss."
The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper."
The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
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A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.
The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"
Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.
"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."
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Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems.
This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy.
There is only one side effect.
That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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