Joke #1745

Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"

Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.

Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.