Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house.
He told the women, "Gimme anything you got."
So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside."
She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom.
10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again.
He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?"
She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?"
The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
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A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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