Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
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1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island.
After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself.
After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her.
After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
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Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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