Joke #1697

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Vote:
has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, football

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: football, sport
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Vote:
has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, money
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, football, game, sport
A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He's sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice. "Nice shirt." He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking. "Nice tie," the voice says again. He looks around a second time. The bartender and all other customers are at the other side of the room. Confused, the man calls the bartender over and asks about the mysterious voice that admired his clothing. "Oh, that's the peanuts," the bartender said. "The peanuts?" asked the man. "Yeah, they're complimentary."
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
A bear walks into a pub, and takes a huge bite out of the bar. ‘Get out!’ shouts the barman. ‘We don’t serve druggies.’ ‘But I’m not a druggie,’ replies the puzzled bear. ‘Yeah? Then what about the bar bit you ate?’
Vote:
has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Vote:
has 66.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I noticed you look just like me!" The second man turns around and says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?", "I'm from Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?", "McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says, "Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too! This is unbelievable!" So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
Vote:
has 85.56 % from 664 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, football, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Vote:
has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football