Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him.
They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room.
In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there.
I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby.
I did so.
And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening.
It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's my property.
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast,
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
A young priest is unhappy with how little money his congregation contributes every week to the collection plate.
So decides to try a new tack and hypnotize them, using Father Matthews' priceless pocket watch.
Thus hypnotized, they all give the five bucks he asked them too.
Pumped by his success, he ups the amount to $10 the next week.
Amazingly, everybody gives ten bucks each.
The week after that, he decides to up it to twenty bucks, but just as he's about to announce the amount, he drops the watch.
"S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.
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In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida.
Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.
"Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks."
"I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied."
Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.
"What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room.
"Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed."
"Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic."
"I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?"
"Jesus, Son of Mary."
"Where was he born?"
"In a stable."
"And why was he born in a stable?"
"Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on.
All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years.
When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was geting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.
The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
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