What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
On the wall? Art.
On the floor? Matt.
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Similar jokes
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Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: Drinking on the job.
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Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
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Once there was a little boy in church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss."
The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper."
The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?
Urine trouble if you don't open the door.
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A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.
"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
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Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
Cause they don't give a crap!
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