Joke #1771

Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.

Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.

I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.

Ok, So superman was flying around on day after he had saved the world. "Man that was hard work, Now I need to relax and f*ck a b*tch." And so he went to the batcave. He walked over to batman and asked, "You know any hoes that just want to have s*x?" Batman looked and replied, "Well I heard superwomen wants to have s*x." Superman looked at him and shook his head,"Well superwomen wants to have s*x with EVERYONE." So intern he goes to robin, "Look robin I know your gay and all but do you know any hoes that want to f*ck." Robin replies, "Well I heard superwomens pretty good." Superman looks and says,"Well EVERYONE hears superwomen is good." Pissed superman flies off. While hes flying he passes over a field. He looks down and sees superwomen completly naked with her legs spread. Superman thinks to himself, "I can get in and out in faster than a speeding bullet." So he flies down gets in and gets out faster than a bullet. Back in the field superwomen looks around and says, "What the f*ck was that?" and invisible man says, "I don't know but my ass hurts."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

What did O say to Q Dude your dicks hanging out

Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."

A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfuck."

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.