Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?
A: A yankee.
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Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
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I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang".
I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo.
Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length.
So he asked his aunt what was that.
His aunt responded: "That is nothing"
On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick.
Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing."
His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"