Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?
A: A yankee.
Similar jokes
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Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"?
"firetruck"! What were you thinking?
What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?
"popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child.
The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.
So the jury asks the woman first.
She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question.
The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
A man and wife were making love.
When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuck."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."