Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?
A: A yankee.
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A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?”
The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand."
"Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?"
"I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
Vote:
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote:
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock?
Oh wait... Twilight
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.