Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
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Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course?
A: The 19th hole.
Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo"
At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home"
The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?
In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A: Oooh - Henry!
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"?
"firetruck"! What were you thinking?
What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?
"popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.