Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
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A woman wants everything from one man.
A man wants one thing from all the women.
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.
Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head.
The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck.
His daughter comes in with her date.
The man explains the situation, and the daughter's date says, "I can get the peanut out."
He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father's nose, and tells him to blow hard.
The father blows, and the peanut flies out of his ear.
After the daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat, the mother turns to the father and says, "Isn't he smart? I wonder what he plans to be."
The father says, "From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law."
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common?
A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Vote:
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end.
He'll come out a wide receiver!
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.
The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal.
So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.