What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!
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A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Hey guys.
Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
Thank me later.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
Vote:
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”
“Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”
“But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”
“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.”
“Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Why do women fart after they take a piss?
Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.