Joke #2442

What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Who is little, black and jumps? A flee! But who’s big, black and jumps? Dr. Alban!
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has 18.93 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
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has 53.60 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 63.68 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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has 51.00 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, masturbation
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
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has 70.39 % from 326 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, hospital
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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has 68.07 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher