Joke #1834

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats? A total waste of space!
Vote:
has 59.88 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Vote:
has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Vote:
has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
Vote:
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving
Vote:
has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.
Vote:
has 86.42 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.  The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Vote:
has 85.91 % from 1939 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, lawyer, marriage, prison
A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two". The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001." Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four." Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
Vote:
has 83.90 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work