Joke #4041

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry. He stomped accross the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, “Asshole attorneys”. The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying “I want you to know I highly resent that remark”. “Why, are you an attorney?” “No, I’m an asshole.”
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, husband, lawyer, sex
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Vote: has 68.87 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over. As the policeman got out he heard the lawyer shouting, 'my mercedes, my brand new mercedes!" As the policeman approached he was shocked to notice the lawyer's right arm missing. ''Do you realize your arm is gone?'' asked the policeman? The lawyer, stunned, began to scream, "My rolex, my brand new rolex!"
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, lawyer
From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, lawyer
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer