Joke #1855

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
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How is a rabbit like a plum? They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
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Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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