What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
Why are cows made for dancing? They re all born hoofers.
Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
What’s a black spot between two white spots? A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.