Joke #1946

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
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Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
Vote: has 78.11 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

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How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
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A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him. “Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget. The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.” The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.”
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time? A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A. She moved.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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