Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break?
If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
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How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if two blondes have been using the computer?
There’s writing on the whiteout.
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
"Together, together!"
A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?"
The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes."
So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are."
So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery.
She then comes back and says
"Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
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Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off.
They all jump at the same time.
Which one landed last?
The blonde because she asked for directions.
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land.
When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette.
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine.
She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button.
Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient.
"Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"