Joke #2135

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
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has 52.46 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
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Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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has 85.78 % from 2039 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
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has 69.79 % from 698 votes. More jokes about: car, god, marriage, money, women
I never knew happiness till I got married. By then it was too late.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, time
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"
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has 70.63 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex