Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
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No chicken dies a virgin.
They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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A snail and a slug got in a crash.
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’
Sue Murphy
What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"