Joke #220

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes. He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?" The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 74.96 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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has 61.06 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 75.37 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal