What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.