What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.