Joke #10558

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
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has 67.09 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: animal, stupid, Yo mama
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport