What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped. What's a tiger? A stri-ped.
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!