Joke #10558

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. "Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, friendship, lawyer
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
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has 67.20 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, food, stupid
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, old people