What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
Similar jokes
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Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell.
He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."