Joke #10558

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
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Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
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has 65.61 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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has 56.81 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids