Joke #10558

What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.

How are black people and wolves similar? They both fight in packs.

What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.

What's a rabbits favorite book? Hop on Pop.

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.

Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.

George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."

I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.

Q. What did the frog say to the fly? A. You are really starting to bug me!

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.