What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund. It was a sad, funny kind of film. In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film." The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo. Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length. So he asked his aunt what was that. His aunt responded: "That is nothing" On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick. Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: "Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing." His mother laughed and said: "My dear it is nothing for your aunt!"
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.