What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
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What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
Shark absorbers.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died.
When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth.
She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard.
God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on.
The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.
A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth.
Earth was no better for them than it was the cat.
They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people.
God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.
One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven.
She explained that it was absolutely wonderful.
The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.