What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play.
Their mother said yes, but only for an hour.
An hour later, only Out came back.
Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In."
About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In.
Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly.
"Easy."
Out said.
"In-stincts."
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
Vote:
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.