Q. Why don't lions eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
How do elephants hide in the jungle?
Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries!
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys eating cherries...
Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet.
His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him.
When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand.
The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple."
This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet.
Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny.
He exclaims, "R is for rats big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"
Vote:
Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?"
Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor."
Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus.
He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!"
The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!"
The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have."
The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!"
The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar.
He puts it down on the bar.
The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks!
The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more".
This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on the bar and says "lets see him play this!"
The octopus starts crawling all over the bagpipes.
He continues this for quite awhile.
The bartender shouted out " See I knew he couldn't play all these instruments!"
And the man replies, "Just give him a few more minutes...
as soon as he figures out he can't have sex with it, he'll play it!"
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.