Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG