Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS: Dangerous Excessive Member Of Crazy Rats
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"