Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans?
A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
"Once upon a time there was a white bunny..."
"Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?"
"Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said.
"Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...."
"Dad, a little more grown up!"
"Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown.
" I swear!"
"Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"