Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,
"Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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