Joke #2285

What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
Vote:
has 15.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is." The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink. The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog." Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scating rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat. The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?" The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a vantriliqist."
Vote:
has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, money
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Vote:
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to. They landed in each other. Who was wrong? The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
Vote:
has 22.65 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Vote:
has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Vote:
has 79.79 % from 477 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, computer, IT, programmer
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish