What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.” “There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand? A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.