My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.