Joke #10003

When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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has 34.58 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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has 58.48 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dirty, masturbation
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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has 13.02 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
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has 29.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad