What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?” The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."